


The Wings We Stole

by BurntKloverfield



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blessing, Deja Vu, F/M, Fluff, Hugs, LDS, Mormon, Mormonism, Pining, Revelation, Seeing the future, Slow Burn, Sweet, they are so destined to be together you have no idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-06-07 04:57:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15211613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntKloverfield/pseuds/BurntKloverfield
Summary: Before this Earth, before this life, Rey and Ben promised to find each other. They only agreed to do come to earth so they could spend eternity together. They don't think of themselves as angels or saints. They can't make it through this on their own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while and is just now clicking into place. It’s a story that combines LDS theology and a star crossed romance. I just want to write this story, and I’m so excited to explore it with you.

“What will become of us?” Rey whispered to Ben, looking over the damage of the battle they had just witnessed. 

 

Brother had fought against brother, sister against sister, those who loved each other most dearly against their very beloved. All for what? There was the plan, yes, set out by their Father, by their God, but what was the cost?

 

Ben stood close, sadness in his eternal eyes. “Have we chosen the right side?”

 

Rey tensed. “We don’t belong with them, Ben. We will fail, this plan that’s been created, we will fail, and we will fall, and we…” She had seen her Father cry, great tears of sadness, but her spirit had never had the ability to form them. She so wanted to do so now. 

 

“He won’t accept us back,” Ben whispered the pain in the core of his soul. 

 

“No, Ben, that’s the worst part. He wants us back. All of us. And He can’t have us all back! Because we will choose not to return!”

 

“Haven’t we already chosen not to return?”

 

“No, We chose to stay together. Ben, we belong together!”

 

“We’ve chosen to give up our agency…Rey…” 

 

Rey could sense his pain, his desire to return to their Father, their family. No, they were no family if they could just cast them out. “Ben, we…They don’t…have to know we don’t belong…”

 

Ben became curious. “What are you suggesting, Rey?”

 

“We…could join them…we could go to Earth, play their little plan.” Ben heard the disgust in her tone. “We can go…and maybe we’ll make it…maybe we’ll find each other, and be together…”

 

“Rey…I want to be with you forever—.”

 

“For eternity,” Rey interrupted. “Not just forever. Not just for the rest of our existence. For eternity. For all that Father has. That’s what they are taking away from us. We can be together, cast out for rebellion together, but there is nothing binding. If I can always be with you…”

 

“It would be worth it. Rey, do you really think we can do this? I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to make it by yourself and you be alone for all time…I can’t promise you that I will…do everything right.”

 

“Believe in yourself, Ben,” Rey insisted. “I love you, and I want to be with you…For Eternity.”

 

“Promise me you’ll find me, Rey. I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this without you. Promise me.”

 

“Promise me you won’t give up hope. I will give up everything to find you. But first…we’re on the wrong side…” 

 

Ben laughed. “Let’s steal some wings, Angel. See you on the other side.”

 

“It’s for the right reasons, right?”

 

“For eternity?” Ben returned.

 

Rey felt the tension lift. “For eternity.” She steadied herself to follow him into the unknown. “See you soon.”

 

* * *

“There’s got to be more than this,” Rey groaned, lonelier than she had ever been. She looked down at her cup of coffee, the only warmth she had in the bitter desert cold of the small college town. At 21, Rey Jakson's life had always been lonely. She was an orphan, a pauper, a scavenger, passed from foster family to foster family, never anywhere long enough to make any connections. She had worked hard to save up for college, but she had still ended up in some podunk town attending only sporadically with the minimal assistance she could scrounge to supplement her meager minimum wage job. She had wanted to be graduated by now, but she had only managed a few semesters after getting out on her own. She felt tears on her cheeks, and she wiped them away, her well worn woolen mittens scratching her cheeks. 

 

She shook off the most of the sadness and trudged through the snow towards her next class. 

 

“Hey Rey! It’s good to—Oh my goodness, have you been crying? You’ve been crying!” Rose Tico greeted her as their paths joined towards the English building. She dug in her backpack for the pack of tissues she kept on hand. She forced the pack into Rey’s hand, along with a handful of chocolate kisses. “Are you okay? Do you need anything? Do you need a hug? Do you need to skip class?”

 

Rey laughed awkwardly. She hadn’t talked a lot with Rose, even though both were majoring in mechanical engineering. They had only had English 101 together so far. “I’m okay,” she sniffled, stuffing the chocolates in her coat pocket. 

 

Rose studied her face and insistingly held her arms open. Rey hesitated but pushed into her arms. She had definitely needed a hug. 

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Rose asked. 

 

Rey laughed a little tearfully. “I don’t think we’ve got time before class.”

 

Rose nodded. “Hey, you wanna come hang out with me tonight? My church group is having an activity, and we’re gonna be decorating cookies.”

 

Rey smiled and hugged her tighter. “I think I’d like that.”

 

 

* * *

 

Rey wasn’t religious, and she had never thought of it seriously. She always had something else concerning her. She told Rose all about it as the girl drove the snowy streets to the church that night. Rey had seen these buildings around. Rose told her that she was Mormon, or LDS, or Christian. 

 

“I’m all of those,” Rose laughed. “The full title is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But tonight’s just to have fun,” she comforted Rey, patting her knee before turning into a parking space. 

 

Rose led her inside through a clean warm hallway with scriptural paintings and a cork message board on the walls, and through double doors into a basketball court like the gyms from school. Rey blinked, and glanced over her shoulder to make sure that she had just been in a church. The wood floor was slippery from the snow brought in on boots, and the basketball hoops were put up out of the way, and one side of the gym was taken up by a large plastic divider and the other side was taken up by a stage, where the plastic dividers were pushed open. The gym itself was taken up by several large round folding tables covered in brightly colored plastic table cloths and bowls of icing and decorating candies. 

 

People were milling around, not ready to start yet, and a few people entered behind them. 

 

Rey didn’t know what to do with herself and felt shy. Rose wasn’t letting her shrink into her shell. Rose led her to a group already chatting. 

 

“Hey guys!” Rose chirped giving each a hug. Rose listed off all their names, though Rey really just caught Finn and a Kaylee and a girl who looked like Rose introduced as her sister. 

 

Rey nodded to each and found that the guys all shook her hand and all the girls took her in friendly hugs. 

 

“Hey! We’re gonna get started!” Another girl shouted from the front of the gym, commanding quiet. “Thank you everyone for coming to Family Home Evening! Tonight we’re decorating sugar cookies! We’ve asked Poe to say the opening prayer, and Ben’s going to give us our spiritual thought, then Kaylee will give some announcements.”

 

Rey looked at Rose to follow her actions throughout the start, folding her arms over her chest as Poe gave a wandering prayer about blessing the refreshments to nourish and strengthen their bodies and minds and about driving home safe when the time came. She was hit by surprise when an impossibly tall man took his place up front, pushing his dark hair from his face, and looking down at his phone as his low voice read off a short scripture about how the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. 

 

Rey’s eyes followed him as he took his place back against the wall next to the door. 

 

“Who is that?” Rey whispered to Rose. 

 

Rose slapped a hand over her mouth. A snort escaped her nose, earning herself a glare. “Sorry, that’s Ben. He’s...not really friendly,” she explained away the anti-social behavior. “Don’t waste your time flirting with him. If he recognizes that you’re interested, he’s going to be short with you, maybe even on the mean side. I don't know why he keeps coming to the singles' ward.”

 

Rey nodded. “I’ll remember that.”

 

She disregarded Rose’s words immediately, planning on how she was going to properly meet this Ben. 


	2. Chapter 2

Rey listened politely to the announcements the girl listed off at the front of the room, though they didn’t make an awful lot of sense to her. The girl said something about temples, said something else about a relief activity, to which a boy shouted he wanted to come, said something about a fast Sunday, and said something about next week’s activity being out in the snow so dress warm. Rey looked over at Rose. 

 

“You wanna come next week?” Rose asked. “I hear they want to go sledding though they just might have it be a snowball fight.”

 

Rey nodded. “It sounds fun...” she tried to sound noncommittal, but she found that she actually liked spending time with Rose. They had chatted all the way there with ease, and Rey felt safe with her. 

 

“Here let’s grab a table,” Poe insisted, grabbing an arm in each hand and a train instantly forming of the little group, with Rey holding onto Rose’s hand.

 

She let herself giggle, liking how comfortable they were with each other. As they darted across the gym, Rey felt her foot catch on something, and she stumbled, tugging Rose down with her, and wincing as a cookie sheet clanged to the gym floor. Cookies went flying, though most stayed on the pan. She looked up to find Ben, cheeks red, on his knees, scooping up the loose cookies he had just dropped. 

 

“I’m so sorry!” Rey cried out and was immediately reaching out to help him pick up the cookies. 

 

“Nah, it’s alright,” Ben said in his low soft voice. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He nudged the Pan of still good cookies that hadn’t hit the floor towards her. “Will you set these on one of the tables? I’ll go throw these away.”

 

Rey nodded, offering him the handful of cookies she had collected. She took the platter, and turned to Rose who was also picking up cookies off the floor. 

 

“They’re at that table,” Rose offered pointing with a broken cookie. 

 

Rey smiled and went over setting the cookies down which were promptly snatched up by the others, chatting about how they were going to decorate them. 

 

Rey took a cookie of her own. They were all sugar cookies, and it being the last week of January she had expected maybe circles or valentines shapes. Instead, she picked up one in the shape of a ghost. The man next to her had one shaped like a Star, the man next to him had a gingerbread man, and the girl next to him(Rose’s sister) had what looked like the head of a bunny rabbit. 

 

“Are we decorating these for anything special?” Rey asked, taking the bowl of white frosting closest to her. 

 

“Nope!” The man next to her shook his head. “Just to eat!”

 

Rey laughed as he took his cookie and dipped it in the frosting like a chip. 

 

Rose took a seat next to her and started piling frosting onto a pumpkin shaped cookie. Rey relaxed as she listened to the conversation around her and answered the polite questions asked her and she wondered if they were all actually as nice as they seemed. 

 

That was until she felt a tap on her shoulder and a decorated cookie on a plate was set down next to hers. She looked up at Ben. “Sorry about tripping you up earlier,” he said softly. 

 

“Oh, thank you,” Rey said with an embarrassed laugh. 

 

Ben gave her a smile and strode past them back towards a door that led to the kitchen. 

 

“Ooooooh, Solo’s got a crush on you,” Rose cooed. 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey receives a blessing.

 

The next week got busy for Rey. She had more shifts this week to cover for a sick coworker, and she had a group project she was working on, and she hugged Rose every time she saw her, but she had no time to spend with her, until she found herself bawling in the common room late that Thursday night, and Rose came wandering in with tired eyes but a smile on her face. Rey promptly tried to dry her eyes. It did not work. 

 

Rose plopped down on the beat up couch beside her and hugged her close.  

 

“It’s late, and it’s not a big deal,” Rey tried to distract from her tears.

 

“But it is a deal,” Rose assured her. “Talk to me. I get it.”

 

Rey swallowed, leaning against Rose’s shoulder. “I feel like I don’t belong…anywhere,” she whispered softly. “I don’t feel good enough. I feel like even if I finish college, get a good job, all that, that I still won’t be enough.” She buried her face in Rose’s shoulder. “I’m a nobody.”

 

Rose hugged her tighter. “You’re my friend. You’re so intelligent. You are so hardworking. What am I supposed to do with you?” She sighed, setting her chin on top of Rey’s head. 

 

“Rose, what was that thing that was said before we decorated cookies on Monday?” Rey whispered.

 

“The prayer?” Rose asked. She started running her fingers over Rey’s back.

 

“No, after that.”

 

“Ummm, oh! The spiritual thought! I actually don’t remember…Do you remember who gave it?”

 

“Ben?”

 

Rose shuffled in her pocket for her phone. “I wonder if he’ll still be awake…” She pulled Rey into a tighter hug as she typed out a text message. Rey watched as “Ben Solo EQ Pres” came up in her contacts and a few texts appeared, the last couple she saw reading “Hey, I need a blessing.” from Rose and “I’ll be there with Poe soon” from Ben.

 

“What’s a blessing?” Rey asked, squished between Rose’s chest and her phone.

 

Rose froze. “It’s a…” She finished her text and sent it, her hug relaxing a bit. “So, it’s where someone with the priesthood, or authority from God, puts their hands on your head, and they say…a prayer? But they’re saying what God wants them to say, to give the person specific blessings. Sometimes it’s for healing, but mostly, I ask for blessings for comfort and peace.” Rey felt Rose’s pulse against her ear. “Rey, would you like one?”

 

“I…” Rey wriggled out of Rose’s arms. “I don’t know, Rose…I don’t even really know if I believe in a god…let alone…enough to get…a blessing…?”

 

Rose nodded. “I understand. I do know it will help if you do want one. When I was super little, I got pink eye really bad. My dad always tells me how he gave me a blessing, and how it was gone by the next morning.”

 

“What if it doesn’t work for me, Rose? I’m not Mormon, or whatever…”

 

“I promise you that if you get a blessing, you will feel better.” The strength and determination caught Rey’s attention. Rose only spoke like that when she was passionate. Which so far had only included Star Wars, cats, and a hatred of The Scarlet Letter in their English class. 

 

“Who would give me a blessing?” Rey asked, suddenly feeling like she should very much get this blessing Rose wanted for her.

 

“Ben would be over in a heartbeat. He’s not so friendly, but he does his duty.” Her phone buzzed as if on cue. “Hey, look at that. Ben’s still awake, and says that the verse was D&C 18:10, 'Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.'" Rose sniffled and looked up at Rey. “Do you want me to ask him?”

 

Rey took a deep breath in and nodded shakily. “I guess it can’t hurt…”

 

Rose was promptly typing the question. She had hardly set her phone down when it buzzed again. “He says he’ll be over in a sec. He really will be here soon. He doesn’t live too far away from campus.”

 

“He doesn’t come here, too, does he?” Rey asked.

 

Rose shook her head. “No, he’s graduated, I think. He works for his family. His dad’s got a mechanic’s shop, and Ben runs most of the business details, if I remember right. I don’t really know much about Ben himself, but I love his parents. I think you would, too. They’re the best.”

 

“How do you know his parents, but not him?”

 

“They’re in the ward. His dad’s one of the counselors in the bishopric, and his mom helps out with the Relief Society.”

 

“Rose, I don’t have a clue what you just said.”

 

Rose leaned forward thoughtfully. “So, when we go to church, we’re split up into things called wards. Each ward has a bishop to watch over them. It’s just a guy who’s also in the ward. There’s a process in how he’s called, because all of the leadership positions are called by God. Like I’m a part of the FHE committee. I was called to do that. Anyways, my ward’s the young single adult ward, which means it’s a bunch of 18 to 30 year olds who aren’t married yet, and since we’re a super transient bunch, they usually call some older married couples to help out so that there’s a good foundation with so many people going in and out of the ward. And Relief Society is the women’s group in the church. I think you’d really like it actually. You should definitely come with me. You’d like all of church. Like this Sunday is Fast Sunday. It’s kind of like an open mike meeting where everyone stands up and shares testimonies, or talks about their spiritual experiences. If you wanna come, Fast Sunday is always the first Sunday and you’d love it.”

 

Rey gave her a tired and wary smile. “Maybe. I don’t know how much homework I’ll have.”

 

Rose nodded. “I get it. It’s okay. But if you do want to, you know where to come find me. Our ward starts at 11.”

 

There was a knock at the door, and Rose shot up. Ben was still in a button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up and the top couple buttons unbuttoned. Poe was right behind him, buttoning up his own white shirt over a white undershirt.

 

“It’s good to see you again, Rey,” Poe said with a nod.

 

“You too,” Rey said, now embarrassed of her red tearstained eyes. 

 

“Thanks so much for coming,” Rose said, shaking Ben’s hand. 

 

“Of course,” Ben returned. He looked at Rey, and he offered his hand to her. She awkwardly took it in a handshake. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to the formal greeting. 

 

“So, just a blessing of comfort?” Poe asked, fiddling with his keyring.

 

“We don’t need oil for one for comfort, Poe,” Ben said, nodding to the little vial on the ring. 

 

“She’s never had a blessing before,” Rose mentioned softly.

 

Ben frowned. “Wait, you’re not a member?”

 

Rey shook her head. “Is that okay?” She snapped, starting to feel tears prick her eyes again.

 

“Of course. It’s fine. I just didn’t realize…”Ben shook his head. “It is alright. Do you have any questions about it?”

 

Rey glanced at Rose. “Well, what happens?”

 

“Poe and I will set our hands on your head, and you will be sitting, and then, you get to choose who says the prayer for the blessing. We’ll say the prayer, and then, we’re done. I know some people like to record the blessing, like have someone write it down, so Rose could if you wanted. But it’s really just very simple. This is all for you. If there’s something specific you’re struggling with, you can let us know, but you don’t have to. But, the most important thing,” his voice softened and his eyes trailed up from her feet to her eyes, “is that this blessing is not from me or Poe. This is a blessing from your Heavenly Father, from God. We are only the mouthpiece.” 

 

Rey felt more tears on her cheeks. 

 

“So, uh,” Poe fidgeted. “Who would you like to say it?”

 

Rey swallowed. “Ben?” 

 

Poe’s shoulders relaxed, and Ben nodded. He motioned for her to take a seat back on the couch. “We will stand behind you and set our hands on your head. You just need to be comfortable.” 

 

“Rey,” Rose said, fiddling her phone. “Do you want me to record it?”

 

Rey eyed the phone and then nodded. “I think so.”

 

Rose nodded and took a seat on the floor beside her, folding her legs. She swiped through her phone for the recorder and set the phone in her lap, folding her own arms. 

 

Ben and Poe took their places behind the couch, and Ben gently tapped Rey’s shoulder as he bent over slightly to ask, “what’s your full name?”

 

“Rey Jakson,” she said. 

 

Ben squeezed her shoulder then placed his hands on her head. She felt Poe add his hands, and she closed her eyes. 

 

“Rey Jakson,” Ben pronounced carefully. “By the holy Melchizedek Priesthood, we lay our hands on your head and give you a blessing of peace and comfort.” There was a pause here, and Rey wondered for a moment if he could see into her mind. That thought was forgotten as the next words from his mouth held none of the tone of rote words or trembling nerves. They were confident and kind and loving, and though they were spoken by Ben’s voice, the words were not his. “Rey, your Heavenly Father loves you. You are His daughter with infinite potential. You have greater worth than you now know. Others look to you as a source of strength, and while you have so much strength, you are not alone. You have friends who love you, and as you continue searching and acting on promptings, you will find a belonging you have been looking for your entire life. There is much ahead of you, dear one. Do not be afraid. Walk to the edge of the light, and beyond. Heavenly Father has a plan for you. He will guide you. He wants you to know that you are loved, that you are important and spectacular. You are His daughter. Remember these things, and you will be comforted. Rey, we leave this blessing upon you for your peace, comfort, and wellbeing in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.”

 

There was a heavy silence in the room. Rey’s face was soaked in tears. The men’s hands felt heavy now that the words were finished. They suddenly lightened as Poe removed his hands and stepped backwards. His eyes were damp, though he didn’t let them cry. He looked at Ben who hadn’t really moved at all. Rey shifted slightly, and Ben removed his hands. 

 

“That was so beautiful,” Rose said with tears running over her cheeks. 

 

Rey stood and turned to look at the men. “Thank you.”

 

Ben nodded, looking at her earnestly. “You are very welcome.” He held her gaze, but then he looked towards Rose. “Are you doing okay, Rose? Do you need a blessing or anything?”

 

“I think I’m okay for now, Solo,” she smiled. “Thanks for coming.” She stood and went around the couch to give Ben a hug. 

 

Ben smiled and gave her a squeeze. “You’re welcome.” Rose was minuscule in the man’s arms. 

 

Poe opened his arms, and Rose pushed into his arms, too, leaving Ben looking to Rey. 

 

“Do you need anything else, Rey?”

 

Rey looked at his arms, wondering if it would be appropriate to give him a hug after all the beautiful words he had just uttered. As if reading her mind, he held out his arms. Rey nearly bounded the couch to put her arms around him and rest her cheek against his crisp white button up shirt. 

 

‘He smells so good,’ she thought, finding herself at ease. 

 

“I really needed this,” she said aloud. 

 

Ben gave her a soft squeeze and nudged her to Poe who brought her into the tightest hug she had ever received, making her laugh. 

 

Rey was finally left to Rose’s hug, and she tried to put all of her gratefulness into the embrace. 

 

“Will we see you at church on Sunday?” Ben asked, and at the hopefulness, Poe shot him a look. 

 

Rose let go of Rey to look at her, and Rey smiled and nodded with a tearful smile. “If this is something you can do because of your church, I need to see why,” she said, resolute behind her slowing tears. 

 

Ben beamed at her. “We’ll see you there. You should get some sleep. It will help you feel better.”

 

Rey nodded. 

 

Rose laughed. “You two, too.”

 

“Thanks, again,” Rey said. The men smiled at her and turned to leave. 

 

The girls watched them leave the college dorm, and Rey started picking up her things to go up to her room. 

 

“I thought you said Ben Solo was mean,” she said to Rose. 

 

Rose slung her own backpack over her shoulder. “He is, but it’s only when I’ve tried to get close to him or when I’ve asked him out on a date. He gets snappy and reclusive. I think he’s afraid of letting people in.”

 

“It seems like he likes you well enough,” Rey pointed out. “He was happy you hugged him. He was happy to come over.”

 

“It’s because he’s my home teacher.” Rose groaned. “Actually they just changed it to ministering? And you don’t know what that is,” she laughed. “He and Poe are kind of responsible for me, and a handful of others. We all have assignments to look out for others in the ward. I have a few girls I look out for. Make sure they have someone to sit with, make sure they have a friend, make sure that they’re taken care of.”

 

Rey hummed at they started up the stairs. “That sounds nice. Kind of like a built in family.”

 

“That’s exactly what it is,” Rose chirped before yawning. “We take care of each other. And I can be yours if you’d like.”

 

“You already take care of me so well,” Rey smiled.

 


	4. Chapter 4

When the two men got into Ben’s car, Poe stripped the white button up off and retrieved his own work shirt. 

 

“Thanks for coming,” Ben said, starting his car. 

 

“No worries, buddy. I’m your companion aren’t I?” Poe pulled his shirt over his head and over his stomach. “You’ve got a sweet spot for Rey, don’t you?” 

 

Ben froze before putting the car back into park. “Do you ever see things? Or like have dreams or deja vu?”

 

Poe shook his head. “What do you mean?”

 

“When I put my hands on her head, I saw her future, children, grandchildren,” he shoved his hand through his hair, “I saw her on a mission, knocking on doors.”

 

Poe sat up and twisted in his seat. “You what?”

 

Ben shrugged. “I did, but I saw other things, I saw us getting married in the temple.”

 

“What temple?”

 

“Meridian— Poe, that doesn’t matter, it’s probably just wishful thinking, and I can’t say anything. That would be inappropriate and manipulative, and who is to say that she saw anything? If she didn’t see anything then I would just be this creep.”

 

Poe laughed. “You saw this girl’s future, and you saw yourself marrying her, and you aren’t even going to ask her out on a date?”

 

“I just met her! I can’t give her a blessing and ask her out! She’s not even a member, Poe! I can’t tell her anything in a way she would understand!”

 

Poe laughed and put a hand on Ben’s shoulder, giving him a playful squeeze. “You are such a tender hearted boy.”

 

“I’m older than you, Poe.”

 

“Even so.”

 

Ben put the car into gear and pulled out of the university’s parking lot. “What about you and Paige? How’s that going?”

 

“Pretty serious. I’ve seen her every day this week.”

 

Ben laughed. “And there’s still no ring on that poor girl’s finger.”

 

“We haven’t talked about it, Ben.”

 

“Then talk about it. I know you love her. And you just turned 26, right? You’re a menace to society now.”

 

Poe groaned. “Says the 28 year old menace.”

 

Ben smiled and shook his head, focusing on the road. While he was comfortable telling Poe that he had seen a future with Rey, he also saw something else, something he was sure happened long before this life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things you do not share.

Ben chatted with Poe all the way to Poe’s little apartment that he shared with Finn and his cat Bebe. As soon as he was sure Poe was inside the building safely, he sped down the clear residential streets to his own little apartment, securing his car under the awning that served as a makeshift garage for him and the little old lady that occupied the apartment below him. He sprinted inside, locked the door behind him, and took his journal from its shelf and the closest writing utensil, which happened to be his practice calligraphy pen. 

 

He carefully recorded everything that had led up to the experience and then he came to the piece he hadn’t even told Poe. This piece he knew was a glimpse into his life before this one. He had seen little glimpses like this before, some on his mission, some when he was very young, only once when he had left the church which had ultimately spurred him back to the gospel, but they were usually in dreams. This little vision was so different because this time he was wide awake, he was so focused on the promptings of the spirit, he was more in the gospel than he had ever been in his entire life, he was trying harder than he had in all his 28 years. And this night, he saw himself fighting to join God’s side. He saw himself meeting the Savior. He saw Rey saving him by reaching out to their Savior. 

 

He took a breath and put his pen back to paper, reliving the scene that he had been repeating in his mind since it occurred. 

 

He saw Rey running ahead of him. She rushed towards a bright light, the brightest light. He felt something catch hold of his limbs, pulling him backwards. He shouted out to Rey, and he felt his anguish. It was ancient and echoing. Rey looked back, but she did not return to him. Instead she continued into the light, and he lost sight of her, and he cried out in agony, repeating her name over and over, until the light came closer, and he recognized the man in the midst of the light. The light engulfed him, and he noticed Rey’s little face peering at him from around the man’s side. The holds released him, and the pain disappeared from his soul. Ben fell at the man’s feet, recognizing his Savior. Rey fell on Ben and pressed kisses to his face, his forehead his cheeks his nose his chin. 

 

“Satan will not have you,” their Savior comforted, pulling the pair up to their feet. “You have much good to do.” His voice was powerful and comforting and warming. He set a hand on Ben’s shoulder, giving a nod. “Come, it is your time, my friend.”

 

Rey tightened her grip on Ben, but a last embrace loosened enough to let him go. His last sight was of Rey burying her face into their Savior’s chest, unable to watch him leave her. 

 

Ben set his pen down, surveying the words that now filled several pages of his journal. A sense of peace and relief settled into his soul, and he turned off the light before falling to his knees at his bedside, murmuring a grateful prayer. He pulled himself onto the mattress, wiping tears from his eyes. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes to church.

Rey found herself wide awake and staring at the ceiling at 10 in the morning on a Sunday. She was never up this early. But she could not go back to sleep. She felt like she was forgetting something important.

 

A light knock came from the door and Rey rolled out of bed, glancing at her snoring roommate, a girl named Telly whom she rarely talked to. She was always on the move, and their schedules only crossed paths when they fell into bed exhausted. Rey pulled the door open, peeking around it. Rose, in a knee length dress and thick winter coat waved at her.

 

“Did you want to come to church with me today?” She asked softly, feeling the hush over the dorms. “You’ve got an hour to get ready if you do.”

 

Rey eyed Rose. “I...don’t think I have a skirt...”

 

Rose nodded. “You can borrow one of mine. I’ll bring a couple over for you to try.”

 

Rey glanced down, feeling silly. “Rose...”

 

“You don’t want to?”

 

Rey shrugged. Her stomach was twisting, and she felt like she wouldn’t belong.

 

Rose nodded. “You look like you need a hug.”

 

Rey nodded and threw her arms over Rose’s shoulders.

 

“Rey, remember how you felt Thursday night? I can’t promise you that you will feel the same way, but I can promise you that I’ll be right by your side.”

 

Rey nodded. “I really should do homework or something...”

 

Rose gave her a squeeze. “I told Ben I wouldn’t say anything, but he was wondering if I was gonna bring you to church with me.”

 

Rey pulled back. “He...asked about me?”

 

Rose beamed. “I think he really does like you.”

 

Rey felt her cheeks go red.

 

“Do you want to borrow one of my skirts?”

 

Rey nodded. “I would like that.”

* * *

Rose was sweet as she flaunted a few skirts for Rey to choose from. Rey really did appreciate it, even though Rose’s hips were fuller than Rey’s. Rose had anticipated that and had brought a belt to add to the one that had belt loops. Rose had also insisted on bringing her makeup bag down and prettying Rey up. Rose chatted about how she and her sister would help each other get ready for church in the mornings before they left home for college, and every once in a while, Rey’s roommate would turn and throw her pillow over her head to try to get more sleep.

* * *

”This is the first Sunday of the month so it’s a little different than the way meetings usually go,” Rose told Rey as she drove them away from campus. “It’s like open mike Sunday, where people talk about how they believe and their experiences that have strengthened their beliefs.”

 

“I won’t have to talk, will I?“

 

Rose smiled and shook her head. “Not at all. You can just listen.” She glanced over. “Have you ever gone to any church before?”

 

Rey shrugged. “Midnight mass once. I only remember the candles.”

 

Rose nodded. “So, the meeting starts with prayer and singing. There’s the passing of the sacrament. Trays will get passed around with bread and water. It’s symbolic of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. You don’t have to take it but you’re welcome to. We’re just renewing promises we made at baptism,  to follow Jesus, keep His commandments, love one another, bear each other’s burdens. Since you haven’t made any promises, it’s just eating bread and water. No pressure.”

 

Rey nodded. “I really appreciate you telling me what I’m going to get myself into.”

 

Rose grinned. “Believe me, it’s better with the heads up. And especially on Fast Sunday. It’s literally anyone can get up who wants to. I’ve heard some really good testimonies and some really sketchy ones. I served my mission in the south and this sweet old man would get up and,” she puffed out her chest and broadened her shoulders, “he’d say ‘Brothers and Sisters cuz that’s what we are, we’re all Brothers and Sisters,’ in this thick southern accent and I could never understand anything after that.”

 

“Mission?”

 

Rose beamed again. “Didn’t I ever tell you? Yeah! I went on a mission to Georgia! It was beautiful! I went and taught all about the church and Jesus and helped people change their lives!” She snorted. “I mean as much as I could. Bible Belt. Everyone knew Jesus. Nobody was interested in becoming Mormon.” She rolled her eyes. “Sorry, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.” She shook her head. “They’re really emphasizing the full name of the church. Trying to get us away from nicknames that could be derogatory and make sure that we remember that we are a Christ centered church.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow. “I figured it was. You’ve got a picture of Jesus as your phone background.”

 

Rose smiled as she pulled into the parking lot. “I love that picture. I like to imagine I’m the sheep in His arms.” She glanced at Rey. “He loves you, you know. I hope you learn that.” Before she could respond, Rose was already out of the car, adjusting her skirt to cover her knees, and grabbing her bag from the back seat.

 

The foyer was filled with milling young adults, and a few young children sprinted down the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of the drinking fountains. A frazzled woman sped walked after them. 

 

“Rey!” Poe Dameron greeted, glancing at them from his conversation. He took the arm of the girl he was with and came over to talk with them. 

 

“Hi Rey!” The girl smiled. 

 

“Payton, right?” Rey asked. 

 

“Paige, actually, but close!”

 

“I’m glad to see you here!” Poe beamed. “How’s school treating you?”

 

Rey kept a smile on her face and shrugged. “I’m getting through it.”

 

“What are you going for again?”

 

“Engineering, like Rose. I’ve got a knack for aerospace design.”

 

“Woah, really? I’m a pilot! Mainly crop duster around here, but I’ll do short range flights and fly skydiving classes.”

 

“I’m impressed,” Paige smiled, throwing an arm around Rose’s shoulders. “Of course my baby sister likes you.”

 

“Poe,” a low baritone interrupted. Ben Solo stood off to the side of the conversation. “Do you mind passing today?”

 

“No worries, pal. I’ll be there.” He saluted the girls and walked into the chapel. 

 

“It’s good to see you, Rey,” Ben greeted, holding out his hand for a handshake. “Are you feeling better?”

 

She took his hand and nodded. “Very. Thank you for doing that. It did help.”

 

Rose smiled, giving Paige a look. 

 

Ben must have seen, and he offered the both of them handshakes as well. 

 

“Do you want to come sit with us today, Ben?” Rose asked. 

 

He blinked at the request. Rey could tell it wasn’t a regular one. “After I help pass the sacrament,” he assured after a nod. 

 

Rose smiled and tugged on Rey’s and Paige’s sleeves. 

 

Rey looked around the chapel. It was filled with pews, and the raised front had more seats and a podium and an organ. Poe was sitting at the front pew on one side chatting with a few other men beside him. Rose tugged her into a center pew, filing in first, Rey behind her, and Paige at the end. Paige set a square bag on one side and a notebook to save a space between her and Rey and between Paige and the end of the pew. 

 

Rose began studying a folded paper and showed her the order of the meeting: who was praying, the passing of the sacrament, the hearing of testimonies, the songs. “Do you think you’ll come play in the snow tomorrow?” She asked, pointing to the letters FHE in the announcements section. 

 

“I’m not sure yet.”

 

The prelude music came to an end, and a man stood at the microphone. 

 

Rose broke into a grin beside Rey. She leaned over and whispered in her ear. “That’s Brother Solo, one of the counselors. That’s Ben’s dad.”

 

Rey cast a sideways glance at Rose and looked back at the speaker. She could see the resemblance. 

 

She tried to follow Rose’s example of crossing her arms over her chest when the prayers were said, and she timidly hummed along to the unfamiliar songs. 

 

When the boys were passing the sacrament, she followed them with her eyes, wondering how they knew where to go without bumping into each other. Poe was the one to hand Paige the tray of bread. She took a piece and held it out to Rey. Rey followed suite, taking a piece and carefully passing the tray to Rose. Once Rose had taken the tray and passed it on to the people on the other side of her, Rey studied the piece of bread. It was just a piece of torn up white bread, like what she would feed the ducks at the park by the river. She tenderly set it in her mouth and found that it was sweet. 

 

She glanced over at Rose who had pulled the songbook out and was flipping through the songs. She rested on one titled “God Loved Us So He Sent His Son.” Rey felt a heaviness in her chest. What did that mean?

 

Rose folded her arms again, and Rey followed. Another prayer came through the speakers, and Rey focused her eyes on the fabric of the pew in front of her. She glanced up at the boys as the prayer ended. She studied how they handed the trays of water and was surprised that it was Ben this time who passed the water tray to Paige. Poe passed his tray to the row in front of them. 

 

Rey’s eyes widened as Paige tenderly took the tiny cup and threw her head back like she had seen others throw back a shot. She dropped the cup back into the bottom of the tray, and Paige offered the tray to Rey. Rey took a cup and followed suit. She took the tray and passed it to Rose. 

 

“Go ahead and put the cup in the tray,” Rose whispered. “They get really noisy when you fiddle with them.” She took her own cup as Rey dropped hers in the bottom of the tray. 

 

She fiddled with the edge of the skirt as the others received the sacrament. It felt like quite a lot all at once. She wasn't sure what she had picked up. She swallowed and glanced back at the book in Rose's lap, the sheet music and words running together. Rose glanced up at her, and she put her arm up on the back of the bench and began to run her fingertips over Rey's back. In a moment, Rey had bowed her head and closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of Rose's fingers on her back. Comforting and quiet. She was going to be okay. She had Rose.

 

The silence lifted as Brother Solo returned to the pulpit. "I'd like to thank those who passed the sacrament." He paused as the men evacuated the two short rows in the corner and filled in with their friends in the rest of the congregation. Ben and Poe paused at the end of their row. Paige stood, letting them sidle in. Poe nodded to Ben, who slipped in beside Rey, trying to make himself small so that Poe and Paige could fit in the rest of the pew. He shifted to give them a bit more room and ended up with his leg pressed right up against Rey's.

 

Rey tried not to stare at his thigh, but she felt so small next to him. She had to admit that the dark suit didn't make him look any smaller. She looked back up at the podium as his father started speaking, and his eyes crossed over them, and he gave Ben a wink. 

 

Brother Solo finished what he was saying and turned to sit with the other men on the pulpit. 

 

There was a singular breath before a young woman stood and made her way from one of the front pews. She waited as the pew lowered to her height, and she adjusted the microphone.

 

"Hi," she greeted. "For those who don't know me, I'm Kaydel." She glanced around. "It's been a while since I've been up here, but I wanted to share my testimony about the hand of God in my life, and how he's so aware of me." The next few minutes were filled with Kaydel going from small moment to small moment in her life over the past week, including how she had gotten a flat tire, but miraculously, the tire shop had a used one in the exact size she needed. 

 

Rey found herself lost in her own thoughts then, thinking over her own life. She wasn't sure what connections she was expecting to find, but she thought over the many college rejection letters she had received, the multitude of scholarships she had applied for, the string of foster homes she had lived in, especially after she had struggled through Plutt's neglect and abuse. It all kept circling to how it had all led her now to sitting in a church between adorable little Rose rubbing her back and large Ben Solo who was...

 

What was he doing? She glanced over at his lap, where he was taking notes in an impressively elegant script with a thick fluid marker. She quirked her head as his hands easily formed the words "God has a Plan for you."

 

"Plan?" she whispered. "With a capital P?"

 

He glanced at her, shifting in his seat, and he nodded. "Plan, with a capital P. God has a plan for us."

 

"Us." 

 

Ben's ears grew bright red, and he flipped the page in his notebook and busied himself with a new set of words. Rey looked back up at the podium where a boy was talking about how he was glad to be back from his mission. 

 

Rose pulled her hand from around Rey and patted her knee. "Can I get past you guys? I wanna bear my testimony?"

 

Rey pulled her knees up, and Ben noticed and turned sideways so she could get past. 

 

Rose paused when she got to Poe. "Coming?"

 

Poe rolled his eyes and nodded, getting up and leading the way up to the empty seats where another boy was waiting for his turn at the microphone. 

 

Rey noticed that Ben's shoulders softened, and he continued his focus on his notebook. By the time Poe was standing up at the microphone, Ben was carefully tearing out the paper of his notebook and setting it gently on her lap. 

 

It wasn't regular lined notebook paper. It had a set of dots as if someone had printed out paper just to create a grid or to play "Dots and Boxes" with. 

 

That wasn't the focus, though. 

 

"God has a Plan for You" was scrawled elegantly across the center of the paper in a landscape direction. The top right hand corner and the bottom left hand corner had decorative flourishes. 

 

She gingerly picked it up, staring at it. "It's beautiful," she whispered. 

 

"Thank you," Ben whispered back. "Keep it."

 

She felt herself blush as she carefully kept it on her lap so it wouldn't get bent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever really absorb anything the first time you experience something?  
> And dang, Ben Solo's got it baaaaaaad.


End file.
